So seriously tired these days. I catch myself yawning at all times of the day. It is so very unlike me, but I absolutely cannot stop the yawning. I was thinking it is because we need a new mattress. I am falling prey to all of those mattress commercials blaming a bad night's sleep on your old mattress or telling me my mattress is more then 8 years old or whatever. Although both of those things may actually be true, it's not the mattress. I know because most nights I am not even sleeping on my own mattress. I am sleeping in Claire's room. Why you ask? Well, my almost 11 year old wakes up most nights around 1am scared and cannot get back to sleep.
As all things do, it started slowly. One night here, another there, now it is almost every night. She wakes me up between 12:30 and 1:30, I go to her bed, fall asleep for an hour or two, wake up around 3 and go back to my bed to sleep until the alarm to wakes me up at 5:45. All the while trying to ignore Ted's snoring. Now if you are paying attention, you have noticed I don't get three consecutive hours of sleep. I remember my high school psych teacher telling us that is really bad. No REM makes people crazy... hmmm. I can't say I feel crazy, exactly. I mean apart from my usual crazy. I am just so darn tired. I yawn a lot, huge jaw stretching yawns at the most inopportune times. I can't focus very well. I am more forgetful than usual. If I am not crazy yet, it is certainly just around the corner.
It has to stop, so I have asked her to explain why she is so scared at night, hoping I can allay her fears with some very rational adult-like argument, though I'm not sure my brain could come up with much in its current state. She has no explanation. She is usually a considerate child, so I have explained to her that it is no good for any of us to be losing this much sleep. We need to get our rest! Last night, she said she tried really hard to fall asleep on her own and had been up a full hour before she came into our room.
Although I am beyond tired, I do recognize that I should really cherish this. As I said before, she is almost 11, like in just days. As I lay there annoyed that I am in my child's bed at 2am again, I also think in a year or so she isn't going to want me anywhere near her. I need to hug that sweet thing tight now while I can because she WILL push away so much sooner than I think. Here's to a few more good yawns!
